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Orinda real estate agent Tom Stack has worked as a volunteer on the board of THT for nine years and has brought in more than 30 rock and roll bands during that time.
"All the shows are benefits for the theater but in this case," says Stack, "we are extending a hand to a group in need. Years ago, after a flood shut us down for a while, and threatened to shut us permanently, we have recovered, and feel that our current stability allows us to extend a helping hand. We will be fundraising on behalf of the Gold Star Families."
Stack says he first thought about giving back to these families after he caught sight of his Lafayette neighbor, Yolander (Jolie) Vega, on the show "60 Minutes," which was running a segment on Gold Star Families. The story made such an impact on him, he decided to find a way to give back using the show at THT that falls right around Veterans' Day.
Vega lost her son, Senior Airman Jonathan (Jake) Vega Yelner in 2008 when the vehicle he was driving was struck by an improvised explosive device in Afghanistan. Jake, as he was known, was 24 years old. He grew up in Lafayette with his brother, attending St. Perpetua School and De La Salle High School.
Vega remembers her son's senior officer telling her that her son, when asked why he never seemed afraid, replied that his mother is a red-haired Puerto Rican and she is the only one he has ever been scared of! She says that Jake loved being part of the military. "It made a man out of him."
Vega, now retired, worked for many years for BART. There is a plaque honoring Jake at the Lafayette station, which was placed there by BART's Facilities Department and paid for by the workers.
Vega remembers that she felt very isolated in the days and weeks after her son's death. She recalled that people would see her in the grocery store and head off down another aisle rather than have to say something to her. She said, "People don't know how to handle it. Even in the military, they don't know what to say."
And yet, in the first week after she got the awful news, she received a visit from a couple of Blue Star Moms (mothers of members of the armed forces serving overseas). Vega cannot say enough positive things about the organization. She says they were so supportive, particularly the Danville Chapter 101, including Patty Harris and Michelle Miller. Vega comments, "We (Gold Star Families) are their worst nightmare." But, she continues, "I couldn't have done it without them."
It was a Blue Star Mom, Deb Saunders, who recognized the need for support of Gold Star Families and who started an annual event at the Marines Memorial Club in San Francisco, which was featured on "60 Minutes." Saunders says, "You can express your sympathy but you cannot empathize with someone unless you're walking in their shoes and that's what I knew we had to do; (was) somehow gather these folks together, that they were better equipped in their journey to help one another." Gold Star families are honored at this event. They talk about and remember their children - their lost ones are always referred to as "children." As Vega says, "We don't want our children to be forgotten."
"We are not meant to be alone," reflected Stack, as he described how he is hoping to bring the community together for a short while before the Eagles tribute band, Midnight Flyer, takes the stage on Saturday, Nov. 5 for education, awareness-building and fundraising for the Gold Star Families.
Stack, who worked for many years with the Grateful Dead, says, "There are many direct examples in my life, in my experiences, from the likes of Bill Graham, Carlos Santana, Ken Kesey, the Grateful Dead.
... continued on page B7
Reach the reporter at:
Lamorinda Weekly, Moraga CA